


Laugh and Sigh, and Laugh Again

by Sleepless_Malice



Series: Fëanorian Week 2018 [3]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Day 1, Feanorian week, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Fëanorian Week 2018, M/M, Russingon, Valinor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-01 02:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13988589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_Malice/pseuds/Sleepless_Malice
Summary: A carefully planned day in the forest was all Fingon needed to win over Maedhros's doubts and hesitation.– written for Fëanorian Week 2018





	Laugh and Sigh, and Laugh Again

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from J. Keat's poem, A Song of Opposites

**Laugh and Sigh, and Laugh Again**

*****

_Laugh and sigh, and laugh again;_

Oh _the sweetness of the pain!_

_Muses bright, and muses pale, Bare your faces of the veil;_

_Let me see; and_ _let me write_

_Of the day, and of the night –_

_Both together: – let me slake_

_All my thirst for sweet heart-ache!_

 *

 

“What if somebody comes across us?” Maedhros asked, scanning his surroundings carefully as his melodious voice filled the quiet glade. They had often come to this tranquil spot before, after having found it one day by simple accident whilst riding back to Tirion in heavy rain.

“What of it, then?” replied Fingon with a breathtaking smile, indulgent, lovely, yet still a mischievous edge to it. “All I see is two cousins lying in the grass, enjoying a lovely day off of their duties.”

 _‘Enjoying a lovely cousin is what you mean.’_ Maedhros almost snorted.

Fingon continued unimpressed, propping himself up on the elbow and watching Maedhros closely with a smile. “Surely, no harm could come from doing such a thing?”

“Surely not.” Maedhros hated the way his voice faltered. He wished to sound playful and happy, perhaps even flirty. Instead, he sounded like a complete fool. “But maybe from the way you look at me?”

Fingon played coy. “Oh,” he said in feigned surprised, in a way that made Maedhros envy him all the more for his nonchalance, “Please tell me, dearest Maitimo, how exactly do I look at you?”

Maedhros felt blood rush to his cheeks as Fingon climbed over him until, judging from the look, he sat quite comfortably astride of him. “As if you are up to something.”

Their position was _quite_ compromising and far from innocent.

Fingon shook his head, sending the golden braids flying wildly around him. “Me? How dare you to accuse innocent, little me, of such a thing?”

This time, Maedhros did snort. “Because I know you, dearest Findekáno.”

Arms akimbo, Fingon gave him a pouting look.

“I genuinely doubt that.” He leaned forward, golden braids tumbling across Maedhros’s face, and their lips met for the briefest of moments.

_Chaste._

_Intense._

It set Maedhros’s entire body ablaze. Beneath Fingon, he shivered from the sensation, his body reacting in a way it absolutely should not.  

“See?” said Fingon, smiling and extremely satisfied with the reaction that the kiss had provoked. “You do not know everything about me.”

_I should have never known._

Robbed of his breath, trembling from head to toe, Maedhros searched for words, but found none.

Fingon’s hand wandered from Maedhros’s side to his cheek, brushing against it lightly as he went on. “For example…”

From there, Fingon’s fingers dipped lower towards Maedhros’s lips, which he traced carefully but with unfazed steadiness.

“Finno…” Maedhros breathed.

All of a sudden, Fingon had become deadly serious. “Maitimo, just stop it. I am tired to see those ‘what ifs’ floating through your eyes whenever you are with me of late. Stop torturing yourself and damn it, stop denying your feelings for me.” A brief pause followed, in which Fingon rocked backward, much to Maedhros’s horror, “I clearly feel them … _there_.”

It would have been a lie had Maedhros said that he had not often imagined this scenario late at night, when his body shook like a leaf in the wind from his own touch, leaving him aching and needy for Fingon even after climax. It was always immediately followed by guilt. He shouldn’t be thinking about Fingon, his cousin, in such a disrespectful manner. In the end, the the guilt would mingle with excitement, and he was left confused.

 _“Love is a risk, Maitimo,”_ his mother had once told him, but surely she had not meant such – desire? _“It always is, perhaps has to be? But then, if you never dare to take it, you’ll always lose.”_

Hands now placed on each of Maedhros’s shoulders, Fingon went on. “There is nobody around, I promise. They are all occupied elsewhere, I’ve carefully investigated our brothers’ and sister’s plans for today.”

There was no point in denial; there was no point in denying Fingon anything, a fact his cousin loved to take advantage.

Almost tentatively, Maedhros raised his hands to Fingon’s waist, which immediately lit up Fingon’s eyes lit up. “Are you telling me that you planned this?”

Chewing his lower lip, Fingon replied, “I might have.”

For the first time, something akin to insecurity danced across Fingon’s face.

Maedhros shook his head but laughed. “You are the worst.”

The heat Maedhros already felt, despite the coolness of the air around them, seemed to burst and spread across his entire body as Fingon’s hand cupped his face with both hands. “Fine, fine. Better the worst than an idiotic fool.”

Maedhros dropped his gaze from Fingon’s eyes to his lips, partly open, but nevertheless smiling in such a sensual way that Maedhros’s breath hitched. In his head, Fingon’s silvery voice from his dreams echoed, saying a million things the same voice had said to him in many dreams and with every word, with every smile, Maedhros’s defenses fell.

Maedhros could hear his heart drumming against his chest and his blood rush through his veins in a frenzy; it was madness and it was a temptation. This was everything he had ever wanted, though he had been reluctant to admit it, even to himself.

Yet again, Fingon’s voice cut through Maedhros’s hazy mind and in comparison to his smile, all else seemed pale and hollow. “Alright, then. If you won’t make your thoughts shut up, surely you do not mind if I do?”

It was the sort of question Fingon asked that was more a brief warning before a reckless action followed.

Perhaps it was selfish not to reject Fingon, given that there still was time, and perhaps it was wrong and unjust. This and a hundred other thoughts raced through Maedhros’s mind, but he didn’t give in to them. They didn’t matter. He wanted Fingon, had perhaps always wanted him, in the same way that Fingon now wanted him. Maedhros looked down to where he still held Fingon’s body loosely, to where his cousin’s tunic raised just slightly, so that some skin was revealed.

Fingon’s eyelids fluttered. “Yes, please,” Fingon whispered as Maedhros’s hands slipped beneath Fingon’s tunic. He could feel Fingon’s warm breath ghost against his lips, brushing against them like the softest breeze of summer.

Maedhros allowed his hands to wander a little bit further as Fingon kissed him again, this time for real and with far more confident than before. Nevertheless, it began chastely, Fingon’s lips gently moving against his, soft and smooth as Fingon caressed Maedhros’s cheek. Trying to remember what he had seen on the few occasions couples openly kissed on Tirion’s streets, Maedhros closed eyes tightly and mimicked Fingon’s exquisite motions.

Even then, stupid as it was, Maedhros wondered where exactly Fingon had gained such knowledge, and as he thought of it, flares of jealousy sparked. But was nonsense, Maedhros knew. He would not allow such thoughts to ruin the most precious of moments.

Carefully Maedhros ran his hands up and down of the small of Fingon’s back, delighting in the goose-flesh that arose wherever his fingers went. Often had he touched Fingon’s skin before, but never had it felt so smooth and sensual against his own, never so hot to the touch. Fingon’s breath hitched in his throat, followed by a tiny whimper and at first Maedhros thought he had done something wrong, only to realize shortly after that Fingon, in fact, was quite vocal in his desire.

It was a sound, so chaste and yet, at the same time, so sensual that Maedhros knew it would haunt his nights from that day on.

Their foreheads pressed together as their lips parted, breath ragged and somehow it seemed as if Fingon was equally incapable of understanding what just had happened; that after years of mutual denial, their identical fantasies had come to life.

Fingon’s face lit up once more when their eyes met. ‘ _Perhaps he expected to see rejection,’_ Maedhros thought, returning his cousin’s smile with strange confidence. _‘Or perhaps worse.’_

“Was it as good as your fantasies?” Fingon asked, lips still wet.

Maedhros eyes went wide. “How would you know?”

Then Fingon laughed. “I was just guessing, but thank you for the confirmation.”

“Damn you.” Maedhros gave a breathless chuckle at Fingon’s cunning and reversed their position, taking Fingon by surprise. Now it was his body covering Fingon’s smaller one, which actually felt quite wonderful.

“Oh.” The gasp escaped Fingon. “Part of your fantasies, too?”

“Just shut up, will you?” This time, it was Maedhros who took the initiative and covered Fingon’s lips with his own, threading his hands through the golden braids.

In the hour of the mingling, they still lay on the mossy ground, arms and legs entangled as lips met lips, now swollen and rosy from desire too long held back.

*

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [rose-of-the-bright-sea](http://www.rose-of-the-bright-sea.tumblr.com) for beta reading this fic for me <33
> 
> I am on tumblr, feel free to say hi: [feanope](http://www.feanope.tumblr.com)


End file.
